Rules Are Made to Be Broken

5 Traditional Rules O.K. to Break for the Modern Wedding

Change is one of the things that keeps things interesting and moving in life; the evolution of one thing as it progressively becomes better and more unique. Many different things can be applied to this analogy, so why not your wedding too?!

Here are a few traditional rules that many new married couples are doing away with. And we think that they're great alternatives! Nothing is wrong with the traditional wedding, but who doesn't like to break a few rules every now and then?

Rule #1 -  Wearing White 

Coco Chanel's short wedding dress

The history of the white wedding dress dates back to the 1800's, where wearing non-white wedding dresses was not out of the norm. A common color dress to wear was blue and  symbolized fidelity, loyalty and purity. The tradition of wearing "something blue" continues to this day. However, it was not until Queen Victoria wed her cousin Albert of Saxe-Coburg in 1840 wearing an all white dress that the white dress became the new accepted norm for brides wear on their wedding day.

Coco Chanel, an integral part of the evolution of women's fashion, also helped encourage this practice in the 1920's when she introduced the short wedding dress as an option for brides, further reinforcing white as the "proper" color for a wedding dress.


But alas, times have changed and now brides have the option of choosing what colors they want on their big day. Many still choose to go with the traditional white, which is still classic and beautiful, but don't be afraid to step a bit outside the box and pick a color YOU want. Colors can express personality, individuality and can serve as an integral part of the wedding's overall theme and design. You are the centerpiece; go ahead make them look.

Rule #2 - Choosing People in Your Wedding Party of Your Sex

With the influx of switching gender roles in the modern era, it's easy to see how a bride can choose her closest guy friend as her "Man of Honor" or how a groom can choose his best gal pal to be his "Best Woman". And it happens more commonly than you'd think!

There are lots of possibilities for mixed wedding parties

Keeping the same sexes in the bride and groom's respective wedding parties hails from customs dating back to the Middle Ages. Appropriately named the "marriage by capture" era, the groom would literally kidnap the bride from her family to be his betrothed. But he had help! Close friends of the groom, or his groomsmen, would help in the groom's endeavor by fighting off the bride's family as she was carried away by her suitor.

Bridesmaids, on the other hand, were used in weddings that were actually planned. They were the maids and servant girls of the bride. The senior maid, or matron of honor, tended to the bride-to-be in whatever she required and helped her get dressed on the day of the wedding. All the other maids, or bridesmaids, helped set up and decorate for the wedding feast.

Nowadays, the bride and groom usually pick their closest friends or family members to stand with them on the big day. But rather than trying to put your best opposite sex friend in your partner's party, it's very acceptable now to just have them in your own. Many times when there is a male in the bridal party, his tie and boutonniere will match the bridesmaids dresses. Likewise a female in the groom's party would have a dress to blend with the color of suits worn by the groomsmen. It's easy, and actually a lot of fun.

Rule #3 -  Having a Plain White Diamond Engagement Ring

Our SR43438, a sapphire-lover's dream

 Much like having a white dress, having an all-diamond engagement ring is another tradition passed down from the Middle Ages. In medieval times, the groom would often pay the bride's family for her hand in marriage. Most times the exchange would include precious stones as a symbol for his intent to marry the girl. When this exchange was no longer practiced, giving a diamond, the most precious stone of all, continued to symbolize the groom's intention to marry the recipient.

Black rhodium adds that unique flair

With so many stone options out there, though, there are a lot of possibilities for an engagement ring. Even with keeping the diamond as the center stone, you can still add some flashes of color using your favorite gemstones. This trend has actually become quite popular and more styles of engagement rings are being designed to incorporate stones other than just diamonds. 

R1295 - A ring fit for royalty

A great example of this would be our R1305PS, a very different look than the normal engagement ring. Coated in black rhodium with pink sapphires flanking the sides, it has a unique design yet still has the classic diamond center that engagement rings are known for. Even something as small as adding color plating or another colored stone can drastically change the look of any engagement ring.

Add a splash of color!

Emeralds and sapphires are also commonly used as compliments to a diamond ring, and sometimes replace the diamond center entirely! Our R1295 uses an oval sapphire surrounded by a crown of diamonds while the R1373E has four emerald baguettes that burst out from the sides of the center diamond. Other common stones that have been used in modern engagement rings are rubies, topaz and even pearls. When it comes to the ring symbolizing your love and commitment, why not make it exactly what you want?

Rule #4 - Hosting a Rehearsal Dinner

Rehearsal dinners can be a great way for everyone that's integral to the wedding to get acquainted, if they aren't already, but it isn't absolutely necessary to have one. This is especially true if you're trying to keep your wedding within a certain budget.

Back in the day, rehearsal dinners served as a way for the bride and groom's parents to first meet after the engagement. As was customary at the time, the parents of the betrothed couple would be the ones responsible for introducing people to each other at the wedding. So it obviously was a great help that they actually met before the actual wedding.

Other than if both your and your fiancé's parents aren't yet acquainted, the rehearsal dinner serves more for a pre-wedding dinner with those involved or a quick run through of the ceremony before the actual one. It is a great way to treat those that are coming in from out of town or a nice "thank you" for making the effort to come in the case of a destination wedding. However, it is not a requirement at all. If anyone in the wedding really wants to do one, be sure to tell them that they can plan and pay for it while they're at it!

 

Rule #5 -  Use the Traditional Vows

"For better or for worse, til death do us part..." Everyone knows how the traditional wedding vows go, or at least the gist of them. But how did they come to be so cemented in our wedding culture? Turns out they come from the Book of Common Prayer published in 1549. Approved by Henry VIII himself, the priest marrying the couple would lead them in speaking these vows just as still is widely practiced today. The wording of the original vows has changed some over the years. For example, in the original vows the bride had the line "I pledge to obey [my betrothed]". You can imagine how well that went over when the women's civil rights movement began to arise. So the church scrapped that line and added "to love and to cherish" instead. 

The thing about pre-written vows is that you are merely reciting verbatim pretty powerful words and promises and their meanings can sometimes get lost in all the excitement of your wedding day. Not to mention they are usually proclaimed in front of a group of those who you hold closest in life. So why not say words that you actually put together yourself? The bride and groom should keep in mind that just reciting the traditional vows may serve as one less thing you have to put time and effort into for the wedding, but the words you speak are a public declaration of your commitment and love for the other person. And no one can come up with those words better than the two of you. Wedding vows should be able to be spoken comfortably yet with the understanding that each word symbolizes the deep sentiment you have for your partner.

If you do decide to write your own vows, there are things you should keep in mind. Think about your feelings for your partner and your willingness to give to each other. Together, you can research and discuss different styles and options of wedding vows, both traditional and contemporary. If you have a religious leader, talk with him or her for guidance on Biblical references or find your favorite love quotes from literature and poetry if you need some help on the verbiage. Either way, the vows are the most sacred part of a wedding ceremony and writing your own can be add a level of intimacy that cannot compare to mere reciting of lines.  

 

Now go make it your own!

We are fortunate to live in a time when we can make our own rules and have the ability to choose between traditional, modern or a mixture of both! And this certainly holds true in regards to your wedding.Take advantage of this when planning your special day. It's a day to make a lasting loving memory, so go ahead and make it YOURS... make it Timeless.